Over this year, the world has gone silent, concert halls closed their doors and people continue to live under the shadow of this pandemic, the suffering, sadness and disconnect has seeped into all of our lives. Today, December 30 2020, waiting for the first rehearsal this year with orchestra I felt trepidation and uncertainty: so many things have been cancelled, somewhere my heart had given up on music. To be a musician is a daily process of self courage and belief in the goodness of art for humanity. Being musicians, we have all been to the dark night of the soul, and it is often coming back from this that we find the hidden nugget of beauty, that perfectly bowed note that rings right into our hearts, and makes the world whole again. This year, so many freelance musicians have faced this and packed away our instruments so that we can help support our families and loved ones, and so that we can afford to live. It felt so isolating, and even more so by the amazing teams of orchestras and ensembles around the world who were able to have coffee over Skype and to do video concerts with their colleagues. To be a freelancer is often to be alone, we turn up to gigs sometimes not knowing the other people on stage, although from long car trips with quartet members I have made many lasting friendships and memories. The pressure of being a musician can create as much anxiety in one’s life as it does joy and fulfilment. Rehearsing with the Queensland Pops Orchestra today, and in our home of QPAC was the biggest blessing. I felt wonder, I felt joy, I felt freedom. I felt teamwork, concentration and deep love and support of each other fellow people and musicians. I hadn’t known if I would ever be back on the QPAC stage performing, and with collective courage, hope and love, we were.