Something strange happened to me today. I had a miraculous flurry of successful cleaning, posted some work online and had a great positive response. Two days later however here I am looking at everyone else’s posts and I wonder - am I succeeding at isolation? What started as a free and positive search for inspiration and creativity is now turning into a big winners reel. And who can blame it, with jobs uncertain and so much forced positivity, no wonder everyone is clamouring to be seen as a success in the face of devastation.
What of the stoic side, the nod to early generations that made it through war, depression and worse. Although it does seem a step in the right mindset direction to think ourselves lucky, it doesn’t cover that sinking feeling of dread and dissolution in the face of uncertainty. I am not sick, however just being in isolation I seem to have taken on some of the lethargy and numbness that actually happens when sick. I worry, maybe I have it, or maybe I will starve with no access to food and toilet paper… these thoughts spiral and the winners reel becomes unbearable.
Finally something happens, a friend calls, and then another, and by the end of the day I have spent 4 happy hours on the telephone. I haven’t made any cakes, faced any dangerous supermarkets or made a new business in a day, I have however made connections with some of my nearest and dearest and surely that is what matters in the end.
Maybe tomorrow I will post that photo…